chuggit (chuggit) wrote,
chuggit
chuggit

fading/waning?

It used to be that I could walk into the maze at any given time and unless it was an especially dull period there, I could have some action if I wanted it. Lately though, that's changed.

I backed off of public sex for a while there, mostly because it isn't as exciting as it used to be. Laws changed in my state, regulating the activity, and it put an immediate damper on the fun from which it never really recovered. The main thing is, the faces and bodies changed. The limited number of sex zombies in the maze means there just aren't that many men to choose from anymore.

I've made attempts though to get that magic back; whenever it happens, I usually write about it here. But sometimes I don't post about anything, and it doesn't mean I haven't tried. It just means that nothing worth talking about has happened. The last few visits I made to the bookstore have been downright depressing for me; it doesn't mean there weren't men there I wanted to fool around with. It just means that, no matter what, they were not interested in me.

One visit found me chasing after a younger collegiate type who was wandering back there. He actually came into my booth and played with my cock for a few seconds, then exited and wouldn't have anything more to do with me. What, it's not big enough for ya?

Another time I was about to leave and suddenly this huge guy walks in. Not much in the face, but he had a ballcap pulled way down to obscure himself. I liked his size and the look of him, but he wouldn't look at me. In cruise-speak, that means "no, thank you". Pretending that you don't exist is a surefire way to signal somebody that you're not interested. It was a blow to the ego for me that day; the maze was full of men who were absolute bottom feeders; not just men who were generally unattractive, but men who the thought of them touching me made my skin crawl. This tall guy regarded me with the same disgust; averting his eyes whenever I passed, refusing to follow me when I went into the booth nearest him, refusing to even turn his head to look at me for a second. I left there disappointed that night, not because I didn't get to have some encounter with him; desire makes up a large part of what I consider to be a "hot" sexual encounter, and if there is none, then it's not of interest to me.

No, I was disappointed because I passed a milestone somewhere back there and didn't even realize it. I'm not young enough anymore to be of interest by default. From now on, I guess I gotta earn it if I wanna play in the maze.
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